A new fear entered out lives when the coronavirus, COVID 19, took hold in the U.S. as it had around the world. The news was full of it – where had it started? How far had it spread? How many got it? How many were expected to get it? How many died from it and/or were hospitalized. It was a real crisis of health. We learned how it infected others. What were the symptoms we should look out for. What could we do to protect ourselves. This kind of fear was related not only to the fear of dying and the fear of death, as we have been exploring in the past few blogs, but was also related to the question of how we could protect ourselves. Fear is sometimes a good thing — it protects us from further harm. But we mustn’t let it paralyze us into non-action — we need to take precautions to keep ourselves as healthy as we can and free from the virus. I’ll admit that my first reaction was to want to hide my head in the sand, to not listen to the news, not want to know how many countries are now in grave danger, including our own. However, burying my head in the sand would not have been very helpful. I needed to pay attention to what is going on outside my little world and do whatever I could to protect myself and my family.
Our country went into lockdown. During that first week of intense fear for me, Cal and my grandchild had gone to the Rocky Mountains of Canada for the week of “spring break” and were holed up in a remote cabin with friends. That was before the government’s decision that we should all “stay at home.” The cabin was near a ski resort that had closed, of course, but they didn’t know that when they started out. They spent the week hiking and playing in the snow, eating and drinking and playing games in their cozy cabin, sharing the vacation time with their friends. They came home, happy and healthy, and we “hunkered down,” as our fearless leaders have advised.
During the next week, my grandchild got sick—what appeared to be a cold, with a cough and low grade fever. We wondered if it was the coronavirus but none of the other people on the trip had any symptoms. Cal talked to the doctor who said she believed that this was not the virus which was a relief, but we still stayed at home and gave cough medicine, vitamin C, throat lozenges and offered Kleenex to cough into and then throw away (and washed our hands constantly). We got even more serious about our precautions, hand washing, staying separate from each other, and wearing a mask even when at home. Cal took over any necessary shopping for food and other essential items, we stayed in our separate bedrooms, me in my apartment downstairs. I read an article from CDC that a person with mild symptoms of coronavirus could stay home and recover. Good to know.
So what did I do about this latest fear, for myself, for Cal, and for my grandchild? In our book A Year to Live, we have looked at Chapters 10 and 11, Fear of Dying and Fear of Death, respectively. Levine’s message is still the same – we need to face the fear and choose to do what we need to do to live as fully as possible anyway. One of the things that I had done a couple of years previously, and which I now found helpful in maintaining my sense of sanity, was to obtain and fill out an advanced directive. This document allowed me to choose agents (my son and two friends) who would help make decisions for me in the event that I couldn’t speak for myself. I signed it, went over the details with and gave a copy to my son and two friends, as well as to my primary physician. The document I used was entitled “Five Wishes.” It presents five specific questions about what I would and would not want to happen in the event that I was approaching death and was unable to speak for myself. This document gave me the tool I needed to talk to my son and other family members, and many friends about the issues. It opened up the topic for timely and future conversations about death and dying.
Here is what I want for myself. If I should get sick with coronavirus symptoms I do not want to go into a hospital. That would be the opposite of what I want for myself. In my Five Wishes document I state that I would like to die at home if that is possible, under hospice care if that is possible, surrounded by loving family if that is possible. I do not want “extreme measures” taken to keep my body alive, such as ventilators, feeding tubes, respirators, drugs and medicines that muddle the mind. I want to be mentally clear about what is happening and receive the love and support needed to allow me to “die with dignity.” Recent information from the internet recommends that a “sick” person be isolated in the home as much as possible, such as, in a room separate from all the others, and that all precautions are taken to keep the rest of the family safe as the sick one works through the disease. When we “quarantine” ourselves, in our homes, we have done the best thing we can do for ourselves and for the rest of our family and friends. I hope that if I were to get sick that that is what I would be able to do.
For the past week, I have been participating in another of the 21-Day Meditation Experiences with Deepak Chopra and Oprah. The focus for each of these meditations is “Hope in Uncertain Times.” Chopra’s teaching and the daily meditations have brought up for me a very different view of the experience of hope. It shouldn’t have surprised me, but it does. Chopra describes two ways to view hope – one is based on fear and ego desires and expectations (a worldly point of view and not always successful, thereby leading to suffering) and one is based on love and the universal field of all possibilities (a spiritual point of view leading to connection with my true inner aware self and the realm of All That Is). This is basically the teaching from A Course In Miracles and Attitudinal Healing. There are two ways of thinking and feeling and viewing life – love and fear; and we can choose each moment whether we want to be in a state of love or a state of fear. I have talked about this numerous times before. So, when I find myself worrying about the coronavirus and its possible effect on my body, my loved ones, my life, and find myself slipping into a state of fear and an ego desire to hope that this disease will pass me/us by, I can choose to face the fear and change my thinking—from fear to love, I can hope for a healthy next moment, next day, the rest of my life. Practicing in meditation each morning I move into the “stream” of awareness that is a state of infinity, a state of true self/true hope/true love. This helps me remember throughout the day to choose to be in the state of love and hope for a healthy now and a healthy future.
So, while I take all necessary and possible precautions – constant hand washing, sanitizing surfaces, eating and drinking healthfully, getting mild exercise, sleeping well at night − I also try to keep myself in a calm state of mind and body—meditating, remembering love and hope, sending love and peace to all sentient beings. This, I believe, helps me keep my immune system strong and healthy as well. May It Be So.
Self-Inquiry questions:
1. What has been your experience with the coronavirus and its effects on our world
2. What are you doing to protect yourself and your loved ones?
3. How would meditating on a deeper understanding of hope assist you in facing this current fear?
Comentários